If you’ve ever been in sales, you know it’s not just about knowing your product inside out. you know it’s not just about knowing your product inside out. It’s about connecting with people, understanding their needs, and, sometimes, even reading between the lines.

It’s about connecting with people, understanding their needs, and, sometimes, even reading between the lines.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to understand, manage, and influence emotions—both your own and those of others. Simply put, emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions while also recognising and influencing the emotions of others.

The term was popularised by psychologist Daniel Goleman in the mid-’90s and has since become a key focus area in personal and professional development. It consists of five components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. But don’t worry, we’re not here to give you a psychology lesson. Instead, let’s explore how this plays out in the sales landscape.

Why emotional intelligence matters in sales

Sales is fundamentally a people-centric role. Whether you’re selling software, consulting services, or office supplies, you’re dealing with human beings who have their own fears, desires, and motivations. And here’s the thing: people don’t buy based on logic alone. Emotions play a huge role in decision-making, even in B2B sales where the process might seem more analytical.

Research by the Harvard Business Review found that emotionally intelligent salespeople outperform their peers by a significant margin. In fact, 90% of top performers in sales scored high in emotional intelligence. Why? Because EQ helps you build trust, navigate complex relationships, and adapt to the needs of your customers.

The four pillars of emotional intelligence in sales

To understand how EQ impacts sales, let’s break it down into its core components: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management.

1. Self-awareness: knowing yourself

Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It’s about understanding your own emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. In sales, this means recognising how your mood, tone, and body language can influence a conversation.

For example, if you’re feeling frustrated because a deal is taking longer than expected, that frustration might seep into your interactions with the client. A self-aware salesperson would notice this, take a step back, and adjust their approach.

2. Self-regulation: staying in control

Self-regulation is about managing your emotions, especially in high-pressure situations. Sales can be tough—rejection, objections, and setbacks are part of the job. But how you handle these challenges can make or break a deal.

Imagine you’re in a meeting, and the client pushes back on your pricing. Instead of getting defensive or flustered, a salesperson with high EQ would stay calm, listen to their concerns, and respond thoughtfully. This not only helps diffuse tension but also shows the client that you’re someone they can trust.

3. Social awareness: reading the room

Social awareness is the ability to pick up on the emotions and needs of others. In sales, this means being attuned to your client’s verbal and non-verbal cues. Are they excited? Hesitant? Overwhelmed?

For instance, if you notice a client seems distracted during a presentation, it might be a sign that they’re not fully engaged. Instead of ploughing ahead, you could pause and ask, “Is there anything specific you’d like me to focus on?” This shows that you’re paying attention and care about their needs.

4. Relationship management: building connections

Relationship management is where the magic happens. It’s about using your emotional intelligence to build strong, lasting connections with clients. This doesn’t mean being overly friendly or pushy; it’s about creating genuine rapport.

A study by the Journal of Marketing found that salespeople who focus on building relationships rather than just closing deals achieve better long-term results. Why? Because people buy from those they like and trust.

How EQ impacts sales effectiveness

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s look at how emotional intelligence translates into real-world sales success.

1. Better communication

Sales is all about communication, and EQ helps you do it effectively. By understanding your client’s emotions, you can tailor your message to resonate with them.

For example, if a client seems risk-averse, you might focus on the safety and reliability of your product. If they’re excited about innovation, you could highlight its cutting-edge features.

2. Handling objections with empathy

Objections are a natural part of the sales process, but how you handle them can make all the difference. Instead of seeing objections as a roadblock, emotionally intelligent salespeople view them as an opportunity to understand the client’s concerns.

For example, if a client says, “Your product is too expensive,” you could respond with, “I understand that cost is a concern. Can you tell me more about your budget constraints?” This approach shows empathy and opens the door to finding a solution that works for both parties.

3. Building trust and credibility

Trust is the cornerstone of any successful sales relationship. And trust isn’t built overnight—it’s earned through consistent, authentic interactions. Emotional intelligence helps you build trust by showing clients that you genuinely care about their needs and are committed to helping them succeed.

4. Adapting to different personalities

No two clients are the same. Some might be direct and to the point, while others prefer a more conversational approach. Emotionally intelligent salespeople can adapt their style to match the client’s personality, making the interaction more comfortable and productive.

Real-world examples of EQ in sales

Let’s look at a couple of examples to see how EQ plays out in real-life sales scenarios.

Example 1: The hesitant buyer

Sarah, a sales rep for a SaaS company, is pitching to a potential client who seems unsure. Instead of pushing for a quick decision, Sarah takes the time to ask open-ended questions and listen to their concerns. She discovers that the client is worried about the implementation process.

Sarah reassures them by sharing a detailed plan and offering ongoing support. The client feels heard and valued, and ultimately decides to move forward.

Example 2: The frustrated client

John, a sales rep for a logistics company, receives an angry call from a client whose shipment was delayed. Instead of getting defensive, John acknowledges the client’s frustration and apologises sincerely. He then works quickly to resolve the issue and keeps the client updated every step of the way.

The client appreciates John’s responsiveness and decides to continue working with him.

How to develop your emotional intelligence

If you’re thinking, “This all sounds great, but how do I improve my EQ?” don’t worry—it’s a skill you can develop over time. Here are a few practical tips:

• Practice active listening: Focus on what the other person is saying without interrupting or planning your response.
• Reflect on your emotions: Take a few minutes each day to think about how you felt during different interactions and why.
• Seek feedback: Ask colleagues or mentors for honest feedback on how you come across in meetings and conversations.
• Read the room: Pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and other non-verbal cues during conversations.
• Stay curious: Show genuine interest in your clients’ needs, challenges, and goals.

Final thoughts

Emotional intelligence isn’t just a nice-to-have in sales—it’s a must-have. It’s what allows you to connect with clients on a deeper level, navigate challenges with grace, and build relationships that last.

So, the next time you’re preparing for a sales call, take a moment to think about more than just your pitch. Consider how you can use your emotional intelligence to understand and support your client. Because at the end of the day, sales isn’t just about selling—it’s about helping people solve problems and achieve their goals. And that’s something no amount of technical knowledge can replace.